Wednesday, February 23, 2011


My husband and I both work full time, I work 5 days a week, he works 6 days. I don't ask a lot of my children. They know what chores are theirs to take care of. I absolutely hate hate hate! coming home to a sink full of dishes.

A friend of my son's has moved in with us. So, it is me, my husband, son and younger daughter (she spends most of the week at her sister's babysitting and home schooling) plus this young man. He is 21, my son is 19. J does not have a car, my son does. My son said that he would take J to work and J would give him gas money and pay us $50 rent every 2 weeks. I have come to love this kid. He calls me mom and my husband dad. His job has slowed down quite a bit since he moved in. He now works once or twice a week and has not paid any rent since mid Oct. I understand his situation and sympathize with him. He borrows my van and my husband's truck and puts gas in both when he has money. But when I know that he has been home all day and the dishwasher has clean dishes in it and then the sink is full of dirty dishes and crumbs on the counter, stove is dirty...THIS PISSES ME OFF!!!! I ran the dishwasher on Monday night, came home on Tues, cooked dinner and left. Cooked breakfast for hubby, cleaned MY mess and come home and the dishes are still not done!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

My first reaction was to say "F" it and go out to eat. I could just about justify Applebee's "under 550" calorie menu, but I know in my heart that it wouldn't stop there. Why is that my first reaction? It doesn't hurt anyone but me!! It's not pay back! Tammy and I talk all the time about how we have to lose weight for ourselves and not for someone else. I made myself fat and only I can make myself lose the weight. Nobody can do this for me, just me. So, I am saying "F" it, but I am having my planned meal, I did the dishes but there will be a "come to Jesus" meeting when J gets home.


  1. Hate to say it but he needs to learn how to take care of himself. You're awesome for trying to help but he's 21 years old and isn't showing much responsibility. This is about more than just the dishes. You're not doing him any favors by taking care of him. I'm not suggesting you kick him out by no means but if this has been going on for this many months, he needs to work on getting a plan of his own. :-)

  2. It's hard knowing when to help and when to know push a bit. I know you'll handle this well.
    The recipe is on it's way.
    Take care and God Bless!!

  3. I think the Come To Jesus meeting is just what you need to stop keeping your anger to yoruself and making you wanna eat.

    The kid is, essentially, freeloading. If he can't pay rent, then he needs to commit to some significant chores. If he had to pay for a place to live with electricity and water, he'd have to be out a significant chunk of moolah. If he doesn't have the moolah, then he should take over a significant amount of home chores. Dishes. Maybe some meals. Laundry. Vacuuming/mopping. Toilet cleaning. Sorry, but he shouldn't be living there and acting like a spoiled kid. He's a man (at his age, legal age) and needs to man up.

    Here's to hoping the meeting is fruitful and you calm down beautifully...

  4. Oh, I just red Deb's comment. She's right. He needs to set forth a plan for when he's OUT of there within X amount of time (and we're not talking a year or years). He's not your son. Right now, he's leeching off ya. He may be a delightful person, but he's a delightful person sucking off you, and this does squat for his maturation.

    If he had been acting correctly according to normal rules of proper conduct (ie, I'm a guest in this home and they are being gracious so I will do my best to not add to any labor and be helpful as I can, which crosses cultures and is a mark of maturity) then he's not someone who can be expected to continue to mooch.

    For his sake, he needs to supply a plan of near future independence or start and hopefully he will suggest a way to "pay" rent when he has no money (feel free to pile on work). :D